Baptized in a Bathroom

So apparently it is my season to have awkward incidents.

Last night I went to a party and had a decent time except for two things.

1. A guy I was "talking" to completely ignored me the entire night.

2. At the end of the night I knew it was time for me to leave when people began to laugh about the prison mail that the house received. I felt completely apart from what was going on as I looked at the picture of this poor man jail's eleven year old son. This man sent a picture to a house that he believed his cousin to live at. The kid wrote on the back of this photo. It was VERY likely it is one a few photos the man actually has of a his son and he GAVE it up. I don't find that funny and couldn't laugh at it. Then again I find it very hard to laugh with people who find other's circumstances so humorous.

During this awkward moment I had this surreal Jack Kerouac moment. As I observed all the hipster kids laughing over this "highly amusing" letter and picture. I felt completely apart from my generation. I started to imagine so many of the people I knew at the party as characters in a Kerouac novel, all pretentious and destructively beautiful at the same time. I don't know maybe it's the whole moth to flame idea but, I was oddly fascinated and repulsed by the situation. Then again I, like Kerouac, tend to "hang" with those "philosophical geniuses" and would much rather observe them and write about them then anything. I guess it just further supports my concept of a Beat Generation Renaissance. We are at a point in our lives where people thing their opinions and statements are the gospel truth. People change and opinions change. Pot won't get you closer to God and won't give you the power to see through walls even though you might feel like it does. Ground Control to Major Tom, put down the roach clip!

But that isn't the point of my post.

My real point is my OTHER awkward story. Today, I went to Jason's Deli with my two friends Morgan and Chris. While there I had the sudden urge to go to the bathroom. I went and when I got into the women's room I noticed that all three stalls were taken. So, I waited and while doing so noticed that two women were in the handicapped stall. I finally was able to get into a stall and as I began to pull my pants down realized that the two women were talking about Jesus. One women was basically performing a "saving" act on the other woman. I heard between murmurs of crying and whispers. "Please let her have only the words of Jesus come out of her mouth and not let the Devil grasp her soul." At this exact moment I had a decision to make. I could go to the bathroom and get out of there. Or I could pull up my pants and leave and hold it till I finished my meal and do my business in the privacy of my own bathroom. I bit the bullet and chose the first.

I am constantly amazed that people have to justify their wrong doings by placing the blame on another person or another non-existent entity. Now, I am NOT saying that God doesn't exist because I know somewhere in the world someone would read my blog and bitch me out about the Lord's higher powers. I am just saying that people in general lay the blame for their own inadequacies on others. Believe me I KNOW I am guilty of it but I try to censor it. For example I got into a huge argument with someone about how sex is PURELY a biological act. I'm sorry but I think that is an embittered cynical sexist comment void of any emotion. It's basis is biology but that doesn't mean that it's the only thing that cranks the tractor. "Oh yes honey I am so turned on by the pure fact that you will insert your penis into my vagina and NOTHING else."

People generally amaze me. The things we do to put up walls in relationships to merely survive our short time here on earth utterly baffles me. I can't handle this bleak view of the world most of the time. If you like someone then like them. Drink every moment as if it's your last drop. If you don't then you will end up being the embittered scientist with a staunch biological opinion on everything. Nothing is BLACK AND WHITE. Science is the basis of it all but spirit is the glue that holds it all together.

Now I am getting off my high horse and hitting the hay.

Song of the Moment: "I'm Not Waiting" From the Musical It's Only Life

Play of the Moment: Master Harold and the Boys By Athol Fugard

P.s.

I love feeling the inner fire of myself finally come back to life after such a long time. I have never taken people's shit but lately I've been really pushing it in their faces. So say hello to a bigger and better fiery blog.