So I am proposing a second season show tomorrow and am almost done with my one page input.
I am pretty much scared shitless.
You know sometimes you just have to go for what you want even if it means running through pouring rain for three donuts you don't really need. Because when you manage to eat that donut you feel amazing.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Tactician.
Something that annoys me to no end is woman.
Yes men I am a woman. Yet, the confuse the HELL out of me.
They also piss me off to no end.
I think what irks me the most is how some girls I know manipulate the men in their lives. If they can't get what they want openly then they manipulate/guide them in a certain direction.
You won't sleep with me, so I will just get you really drunk and then have my way with you...
Maybe I shouldn't be ragging on woman. Men do it to.
I think I just hate blatant manipulation.
Fake people disgust me.
And yet here I am judging people. I hate when I do that. I guess I have the right to think what I want thought. Since I know the individuals and am not making blind judgments.
Most of all I feel sorry for people that have to "perform" for everyone all the time. The people that break down because the "shape of there head isn't right". In this business you better buck up. Some people just won't like you look or your sound. Just be confident with what you've got and rock it. There is bound to be someone who will want to work with you.
I've noticed that my style has evolved since I have gotten here. I think college has paid off.
It means I am growing and I couldn't be happier. I actually have a technique to directing that I feel like is my own. I am proud of that.
Maybe you have to be a good technician before you are a good actor. MJ was right. I am such a tactician.
God, I should be working on my Directing Analysis.
Yes men I am a woman. Yet, the confuse the HELL out of me.
They also piss me off to no end.
I think what irks me the most is how some girls I know manipulate the men in their lives. If they can't get what they want openly then they manipulate/guide them in a certain direction.
You won't sleep with me, so I will just get you really drunk and then have my way with you...
Maybe I shouldn't be ragging on woman. Men do it to.
I think I just hate blatant manipulation.
Fake people disgust me.
And yet here I am judging people. I hate when I do that. I guess I have the right to think what I want thought. Since I know the individuals and am not making blind judgments.
Most of all I feel sorry for people that have to "perform" for everyone all the time. The people that break down because the "shape of there head isn't right". In this business you better buck up. Some people just won't like you look or your sound. Just be confident with what you've got and rock it. There is bound to be someone who will want to work with you.
I've noticed that my style has evolved since I have gotten here. I think college has paid off.
It means I am growing and I couldn't be happier. I actually have a technique to directing that I feel like is my own. I am proud of that.
Maybe you have to be a good technician before you are a good actor. MJ was right. I am such a tactician.
God, I should be working on my Directing Analysis.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
I hate how I tend to get sick right when my body gets the break it is craving for...
Case and point this past fall break.
I don't get sick on the day of the Phoenix concert or the day I perform. Instead I get sick Sunday night when I get to look forward to two peaceful days of just sleeping late and taking my time to do my homework. Fate seems to say "HA! Just kidding!!!! You will feel slightly feverish Sunday night and then spend 3 hours in the doctor's office just to hear them say they don't really know what is wrong with you. But here are some meds anyway."
*sighs*
So I end up missing my first night of rehearsal for The Merry Widow. I don't think I'll have missed too much honestly. I know that show is going to be an ever loving experience. I am almost positive I'll have many blog posts about some ridiculous theatre antics.
For now I am going to go work on my Concepts of Design project.
Also my sound on my laptop fails. God I need a desktop.
Santa, if you are out there. I'd either love a brand new desktop with an awesome video card and Windows 7 and make it super fast.
Please
If not just send me a million dollars.
Or I do not feed your stupid reindeer this year.
Love,
Courtney
Case and point this past fall break.
I don't get sick on the day of the Phoenix concert or the day I perform. Instead I get sick Sunday night when I get to look forward to two peaceful days of just sleeping late and taking my time to do my homework. Fate seems to say "HA! Just kidding!!!! You will feel slightly feverish Sunday night and then spend 3 hours in the doctor's office just to hear them say they don't really know what is wrong with you. But here are some meds anyway."
*sighs*
So I end up missing my first night of rehearsal for The Merry Widow. I don't think I'll have missed too much honestly. I know that show is going to be an ever loving experience. I am almost positive I'll have many blog posts about some ridiculous theatre antics.
For now I am going to go work on my Concepts of Design project.
Also my sound on my laptop fails. God I need a desktop.
Santa, if you are out there. I'd either love a brand new desktop with an awesome video card and Windows 7 and make it super fast.
Please
If not just send me a million dollars.
Or I do not feed your stupid reindeer this year.
Love,
Courtney
Monday, October 5, 2009
I just got done reading some old AIM conversations from when I was 15-18 years of age.
WTF
I don't know how people put up with me.
I would never go back to those ages if you paid me.
Granted I know I was growing up but the self loathing and awkwardness of your teenage years sucks.
I want my own apartment in Baton Rouge. I need my own space here.
WTF
I don't know how people put up with me.
I would never go back to those ages if you paid me.
Granted I know I was growing up but the self loathing and awkwardness of your teenage years sucks.
I want my own apartment in Baton Rouge. I need my own space here.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
No you can't paint a picture when you're all alone.
It's been a crazy last couple of days.
I saw Phoenix live in concert in New Orleans Thursday. I can't even begin to describe how amazing that night was. Let's jsut say it ended with meeting all but 2 of the band member and getting most of their autographs and a picture with the lead singer. ^^ I promise I will type the story out when I feel like I can do it justice.
But this post is about something else.
I just wanted to get out how thankful I am that I am not where I was last year. I know I have said that in past posts and in private thought. But, I had a moment today when my mom told me she saw my ex and his new girlfriend at church together and he came up and talked to her. He talked to my mother. I'm sorry but I wouldn't have the balls to do that. But, it made me think back to how that was me last year. I went to church with him. Not for myself but for him.
It made me think about all the things I did for him and not because I "wanted" to. It made me even think back to previous relationships and how I had done the same in the past. How I had molded myself to fit the "type" the guy I was with was interested in. I am pretty sure every girl has done that at least once in their lives. It made me thankful that I wasn't faking my life right now. Back then I fell into the comfort of being timid and not enjoying life for what it is worth. I didn't even see it happen.
I am not a Stepford wife. I don't want a Catholic High man. I am 22 I find my happiness in my own spirituality that doesn't subscribe to religion. I am not happy unless things make sense to me I have to know why. Unfortunately many questions in life can't be answered. But, I strive to learn and connect all the little things in my life. I love to expound on life. I like to sweat, a lot. I feel like if I am sweating I must be doing something right. I strive for balance. I love to take pictures and write whatever comes to my mind. I dance even though I am not the best dancer on the stage. I act because I believe in the power of art. I respect art. I also respect what others have to say but I won't always agree with you. I am proud and that is large downfall of mine but at least I know one of my faults. I might look like a girly girl but I'd much rather be playing video games or rpgs. I want to learn how to fire a gun and fence. I have never been happier in the theatre department then when I was in my combat classes. This makes me want to learn all forms of combat. I want to travel all over the world. If it's with someone then that is amazing but if I have to do it on my own then I will. I am my own person and not an extension of another human being and I love that.
I've never wanted to be the ingenue. The woman I want to be is a beautiful and dangerous at the same time. Someone who can hold her own. The kind of girl you don't think is easy to figure out. Someone not afraid to fight back. My role model is a 90 something year old woman who taught me speech and English in high school. She demanded respect and wasn't afraid to laugh at the administration.
I've got some big shoes to fill.
I saw Phoenix live in concert in New Orleans Thursday. I can't even begin to describe how amazing that night was. Let's jsut say it ended with meeting all but 2 of the band member and getting most of their autographs and a picture with the lead singer. ^^ I promise I will type the story out when I feel like I can do it justice.
But this post is about something else.
I just wanted to get out how thankful I am that I am not where I was last year. I know I have said that in past posts and in private thought. But, I had a moment today when my mom told me she saw my ex and his new girlfriend at church together and he came up and talked to her. He talked to my mother. I'm sorry but I wouldn't have the balls to do that. But, it made me think back to how that was me last year. I went to church with him. Not for myself but for him.
It made me think about all the things I did for him and not because I "wanted" to. It made me even think back to previous relationships and how I had done the same in the past. How I had molded myself to fit the "type" the guy I was with was interested in. I am pretty sure every girl has done that at least once in their lives. It made me thankful that I wasn't faking my life right now. Back then I fell into the comfort of being timid and not enjoying life for what it is worth. I didn't even see it happen.
I am not a Stepford wife. I don't want a Catholic High man. I am 22 I find my happiness in my own spirituality that doesn't subscribe to religion. I am not happy unless things make sense to me I have to know why. Unfortunately many questions in life can't be answered. But, I strive to learn and connect all the little things in my life. I love to expound on life. I like to sweat, a lot. I feel like if I am sweating I must be doing something right. I strive for balance. I love to take pictures and write whatever comes to my mind. I dance even though I am not the best dancer on the stage. I act because I believe in the power of art. I respect art. I also respect what others have to say but I won't always agree with you. I am proud and that is large downfall of mine but at least I know one of my faults. I might look like a girly girl but I'd much rather be playing video games or rpgs. I want to learn how to fire a gun and fence. I have never been happier in the theatre department then when I was in my combat classes. This makes me want to learn all forms of combat. I want to travel all over the world. If it's with someone then that is amazing but if I have to do it on my own then I will. I am my own person and not an extension of another human being and I love that.
I've never wanted to be the ingenue. The woman I want to be is a beautiful and dangerous at the same time. Someone who can hold her own. The kind of girl you don't think is easy to figure out. Someone not afraid to fight back. My role model is a 90 something year old woman who taught me speech and English in high school. She demanded respect and wasn't afraid to laugh at the administration.
I've got some big shoes to fill.
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