Almost Always Crying...

So we closed our second show of the season. I did hair and make-up backstage for the show I wanted to be in the most, Almost Maine. What a cruel trick of fate to end up working on the show you wanted to be in the most. Well, welcome to the wonderful world of theatre folks. *sighs* But I got over that. I had a fun time working with the cast and enjoyed to make-up.

However, what did not enjoy was crying every night I watched the show. Ever scene made me a blubbering school girl. God, I hate crying sometimes. Normally, I am OK with it and actually enjoy it. It is a very cleansing process. But, this show just hit too close to home. It was all about love. The loss of it, the getting it back, the accident of it, or even being too late for it. It really is a beautiful show. But it's a little hard to help people back stage when you can't even see from all the tears.

The one line in the show that it was pretty much a guarantee I'd gush like a geyser ever night...

"Because I won't be able to love you back: I have a heart that can pump blood and that's all. The one that does the other stuff is broken. It doesn't work anymore."

*sighs*

On another note, I went to two Halloween parties this weekend. Both of them were lame.

This bring me to the heart of my post for today.

There is a huge generation gap between me and the freshman of this school year. I am at the point where I have not and do not throw up at parties. I know my limit. I also know not to make an idiot of myself at a party. A few goofy antics are fine but have your body haning out of all part of you costume as you hump the ground on all fours is a little much for me.

I am just ready to get the fuck out of Natchitoches. I don't have time for the drama of this school anymore. Where I am going after I graduate I have no idea. If I get a job at UPTA then hello wherever I am going. I don't know if "stage acting" is the thing I want to do with the rest of my life. But sense I have been at school I have been in one show. So I can't gauge the rest of my life off of one experience. If I don't try then I will never know. I know I picked the right degree. I know I wanted to have a degree in theatre. Now, I just need to figure out what I want to do with it. I have talked about opening my own theatre and being in an art administration position. But, I have never had either of those opportunities presented to me. Maybe I will apply for an internship somewhere with an art admin position...

I know one thing. I want security really badly in my life. But, hey at this age you don't get that. We are floating and we have no security. Welcome to the real world.