And I'm trying to do the best I can but I'm a limited primitive kind of man

I really would like to post something but I can't think of much to say.

I guess I'll just say that I find it utterly interesting that people can still think about our previous boyfriends/girlfriends. I friend of mine told me about a episode of This American Life from a few years ago. A young man called an ex of his in hope to find out how she had been doing and where her life was going. It spoke of how we as humans can obsess over the actions we have done in the past. And a possible reason as to why we check up on former partners is to check in and evaluate if we have actually made the right decision. It somewhat supports my opinion of how as humans we don't really wish harm on those we with which have shared portions of our life. ( I guess my underlying optimism shines through once again. ) It's that feeling you get when you discover that the supposed love of your life is happier then they ever were with you. It's earth shatteringly thought provoking, because clearly if they can find someone that makes them that happy then there is definitely someone out there for you.

Maybe it all goes back to the fact that we are constantly searching for that moment. The moment when being with one person is just right. There are no hesitations or thoughts of how something could be made better. It's not tolerance or contentment. It's just right and you know it. Once you've experienced that feeling you are constantly searching for it whether consciously or unconsciously aware of it. I can speak of this same moment in all forms of art. It's snapping a photo that speaks volumes or experiencing that feeling of energized electricity of a "real" moment on stage.

In the theatre world we constantly speak of obtaining moments and recreating the same moment with the same intensity that we had the night before. Creating a constant in an extremely volatile and inconstant world. If you've ever gone to a play and seen what I speak of then you know what I mean. If not then think of the time that you looked into someones eyes and you swore you say fireflies or radiant orbs of golden light surround them when they spoke. When your skin felt like pure static electricity when grazed by anther's hand. Or merely how you feel alone in your own space while singing in the shower or dancing to your favorite song naked and you KNOW no one can see you.

We are constantly searching for unobtainablely obtainable moments in our lives. Because deep down we don't remember days. We remember moments. Snapshots are what fill our memories and minds. Good or bad our head is a photo album of our life where different places,peoples,songs,actions, or anything really could trigger some time of memory.


Things like this fascinate the hell out of me. It makes my life worth living. It makes the story worth writing and the wine worth drinking.


Song of the moment: Carmensita By: Devendra Banhart and The Denial Twist By: The White Stripes