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Sometimes being calm and collected is a bitch.

I see that in my acting. I see that in my interactions with people.

Sometimes it has it's benefits.

Being a watcher can be a good thing.

I guess I am striving for that perfect balance.

That in itself is a bitch.

Balance you life, checkbook, friends, parents, schoolwork, job, lovers, etc.

This is your life. One big balancing act.

My life is one big up hill battle of letting go. This is why I love theatre. You have to let go but maintain a critical eye. You push yourself. You aren't selling any product other than yourself. And if someone doesn't like the product there is nothing you can really do to change that. You might think that is scary or hurtful. I don't find it that way. It has helped me get through life. If you don't like me then Oh well. I know that there is someone that will.


I hate the days I feel so disillusioned.

However, I find it very soothing I have no real memories of my first two years of high school. You really do forget things. That is pretty reassuring actually.
Just when you think you'll never forget you end up forgetting. For some reason this fascinates me.


P.s.
I learned today what I thought was a Dolly is actually a Hand-cart.

P.s.s.
Time to go cleanse myself. I need a good run.


Play of the moment: The Norman Conquests by: Alan Ayckbourn

Song of the moment: "Save Yourself" by: Make Up